Book Review: Understanding Biblical Manhood through "What He Must Be: If He Wants to Marry My Daughter"

Book Review: Understanding Biblical Manhood through "What He Must Be: If He Wants to Marry My Daughter"

A Comprehensive Look at Biblical Manhood


The concept of manhood has undergone considerable shifts over time, molded by culture, media, and societal norms. Yet the notion of biblical manhood remains steadfast, grounded in Scriptural truths. It's not just a checklist of traits but a holistic part of a Christian man's identity—defined by his relationship with God, his family, and his community. In this short book, Dr. Voddie Baucham gives the biblical framework of manhood and the prerequisites for a Christian man seeking to marry. With a focus on the father’s role in guiding daughters to find suitable life partners, Baucham stresses that men should embody the roles of prophet, priest, and king in the household. In this review, we'll delve into key insights from the book, including its emphasis on the three R's: Regenerate, Repentant, and Reformed.

A Look at Biblical Manhood: The Three R’s

  • Regenerate: A regenerate man is one who has experienced a transformation in the soul by the grace of God. Baucham stipulates that such a man is essential for a Christian marriage as both spouses need to be equally yoked in their faith journey.
  • Repentant: A man committed to biblical living must be repentant. Baucham argues that repentance is the result of an acute awareness of the gravity of sin, coupled with an overpowering desire for its remission through Christ.
  • Reformed: Last in the trifecta is being reformed. This means a man should show evidence of continuous growth and transformation in his walk with Christ.

The Threefold Role in a Marriage: Prophet, Priest, and King


As the family's spiritual guide, the man should embody the role of a prophet. He should be committed to teaching the Word of God to his family, ensuring spiritual growth and compliance with God’s commands.


Baucham underscores the role of the man as the family's priest. He should be the intercessor, leading the family in prayer and seeking God’s guidance and protection. The man’s commitment to this role impacts the spiritual well-being of the entire family.


The concept of the man as king of the household is particularly nuanced. Baucham interprets the "king" as a protector and provider. The qualities emphasized here include personal strength, wisdom, and courage.

Filling the Gaps

While the book does an excellent job outlining these frameworks, it would have been beneficial to see more practical examples to illustrate how these roles play out in day-to-day family life. Additionally, the book could benefit from addressing the complementary roles and responsibilities of the wife in a Christian marriage.


"What He Must Be: If He Wants to Marry My Daughter" by Dr. Voddie Baucham is an invaluable resource for anyone seeking a comprehensive understanding of biblical manhood and the Christian marital framework. The book resonates strongly with those looking to deepen their faith and understand their roles in a Christ-centered marriage. It is a must-read for fathers guiding their daughters in finding a suitable life partner and for any Christian man aspiring to be a godly husband and father.

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